Late?

The train always takes longer, there is always more traffic, people are always in your way...when you are running late.

Things I saw in NYC today....

-There was a man (in a wheelchair, with the pedestrian right of way) trying to cross the street.  
Another man (in a car, who had a handicap sign hanging visibly from his rear view mirror!!) was trying to turn the corner. 
The man in the car honked, many many many times, at the gentleman in the wheelchair to get him to hurry across.....uh, you think the man in the car would've have more sympathy!


-a little girl going to school :: little curls, pink shirt, pink pants, cute pink backpack with an elephant on it, dad carrying her dolly....and she was carrying her lunch box, with Spiderman on it.

Please oh Please!!!

someone's gotta tell these old fellers to just stop with the comb overs

Quick, Random.

Said good-bye to some dear dear friends this week, they are moving to Denver.
we will miss them oh so much!!
Shed some tears many times knowing they were leaving, it came at random times, it came in spurts.
But when we said our final good-bye...we were all teary eyed, saying our last good-bye...& we were at the entrance of Costco.
Probably one of the oddest farewells in my 11 years here.

Also
Joel & I went to the free US Open qualifying matches tonight.
sat in the bleachers next to Robin Givens (Head of the Class, Mike Tyson's ex)
she is teeny! about the size of my left arm!

And
sat next to some famous tennis gal (Melanie something or other...I think she's a big deal)
it was fun & we saw an amazing match between these 2 kiddos (Ryan Harrison from USA & Rui Machado from Portugal) that in the end probably lasted about 2.5 hours!
amazing skillz.
good times.

Where's the Scar?

When I tell people I've had open heart surgery, the first reaction they have is to glance down on my chest.
They are looking for the scar.  They do not say it audibly, but the action certainly tells me what is going on in their head.
I will either just let it pass or say something.
This past weekend, I had one of those occurrences.

I was at a wedding, speaking with a friend I had not seen in a few years.  I noticed the glance and said "you were looking for the scar weren't you?" Embarrassed, my friend smirked and said "yeah, well...yeah!"  I then proceeded to tell him how the doctors did the surgery on my side and that the scar can not be seen. (pictures and further explanation of the procedure here).

This moment got me thinking...
In NYC we encounter 100's if not, at times, 1000's of people a day.
Do they have scars?
Some we can see, some not.
We all have a story, we have all been through something in our life...we all have scars.
From surgery, to break-ups, to accidents, to the bully in 1st grade.

Some embrace the scars, share the stories.  Some bury them deep down in a well of bitterness and mope.  It is up to us to decide which way we will turn.

Now I am not saying to go shout from the mountain top all of the problems you have ever encountered in your life, but do not be embarrassed by them either.  You never know who you might be able to encourage by sharing your story, by sharing your life.

I am still working on fully embracing all that I am, all that I have been through...but I realize that as I do so, others are comforted, others are blessed, and so am I.  I have a wonderful, supportive, amazing husband who loves me dearly because 5 years ago I decided to let down some walls and share some 'scars'.  I also have some FANTASTIC friends that I know I can depend on.
I move forward in the support, in the healing.

I desire that in sharing these stories that I will raise awareness on stroke and heart disease, but to also raise hope.

"Change is inevitable, growth is intentional."  -Glenda Cloud

Ways I Confuse my Huz

I love watermelon flavored candy,
but hate watermelon.

I love raspberries, strawberries, & cherries, & raspberry or strawberry or cherry flavored candy as well as raspberry or strawberry or cherry flavored drinks,
but hate raspberry or strawberry or cherry flavored ice cream, the green supposedly 'strawberry flavored' gummy bears, or anything filled with raspberry or strawberry or cherry goop.

I love black licorice,
but hate black jelly beans.

I love oranges,
but hate orange flavored candy or ice cream.

I love boston cream pie, 
but hate boston cream filled donuts.

I am a carnivore,
but will not eat meat on pizza.

Yup, there is likely lots more on this list,
& yes, my poor huz gets so confused.

My Granny Cart : My Car

In NYC, we generally don't have cars...we must improvise :

Buying an area rug from Home Depot

(January 2009)

returning the AC to Home Depot

(July 2010)

returning the AC to Home Depot

(July 2010)

Dear {you}....

The beginning of what I hope to continue...

"letters" to various moments of my life.

(here's some oldies)

Dear....

October '09 :: 

-Craigslist Scammers : you don't trick me!

-iPod Classic : stop playing the same songs over and over and over again...on shuffle!

-Other side of the tracks : I guess you're not so much "the other side of the tracks"

-Facebook : you seem to have broken since you, once again, changed the layout. thank you.

November '09 ::

-Blind Man : sorry I told you to 'watch your step' as I helped you across the street.

-Discount Website : you are not a discount website as your tickets aren't any cheaper than a regular website.

-Man in Elevator Lobby : I already pushed the elevator button, it is lit. you pressing it again, many times, will not make the elevator arrive.

-Customer Service : you outsourcing my call does not count as 'customer service'

-2009: thank you for being here for me and helping me laugh through everything, but now that you are almost over, I can NOT wait to put you behind me. bring it 2010!!!

December '09 ::

-Person using the dryer before me : check your pockets first, I could've stolen that 200 bucks! (but I didn't)

-Snow : two years in a row I miss my Christmas flight because of you!? come on!

-Ladies who wear heels in the snowy slush : what are you thinking?

January '10 ::

-Billing Agent : I can't pay the bill if you don't answer your phone or call me back!

-Stores within the depths of the NYC subway : how do you stay in business? who shops there?

February '10 ::

-Myspace : goodbye.

-Customer Service Rep : you do not know me. don't call me hon, sweetie, honey, sweets, doll...and anything else that is SO NOT professional!

-NYC : you smell like an old wet dog today.

March '10 ::

-Hershey's Syrup : stop tempting me with your chocolate milk goodness 

-Customer Service Rep : I am standing next to you, face to face! please don't tell me to 'call customer service' to help me with my issue!

-Customer Service Rep : I have been on hold with you for 20+ minutes just so you can fix what you already messed up on!? arg.

April '10 ::

-Beautician : I asked you to trim my hair, not cut off 3" and make it uneven with a Marsha Brady slope in the back.

May '10 ::

-Friends : your 4D baby pics are creeping me out.

-Home Depot : Just because I am a woman in your store does not mean I don't know what I'm doing...and it ESPECIALLY means I'm not there to pick guys up.

-People : is it too much to ask for you to do a job with ethical standards and at a top notch level?

-NYers : please look up when texting and do not run into me.

June '10 ::

-Old Women who shop in Forever 21 : don't.

-20 year old intern new to NYC with your hands full : it's not such a wise idea to carry 7 Starbucks drinks in their nice little carries and leave the last/8th slot open to carry your iPhone and credit card.

-Zac Efron and HSM : you have nothing on the old school awesomeness of "Grease"

July '10 ::

-Big Man with Lots of Hair and a Beer Belly: Just because it is a million degrees outside doesn't mean you don't need to wear a shirt.

-Woman pushing the stroller : don't put all of the groceries on the stroller canopy, just above the kid's head.

-Kid in line for Shakespeare in the Park tix: Yes, this play will be "all in that, like, Shakespeare language".

-Man with Stroller : You can not push the stroller through a revolving door. thank you.

-Woman trying to get in the elevator in the lobby : Just hold your horses! You think I wanna get back on this thing and ride back up with you!?

I'm a surviv-ah!

On June 24, Joel and I walked with friends and family in the American Heart Association's Start! Wall Street Run and Heart Walk to help raise awareness against heart disease and stroke.

We had some walkers with us in the Financial District along with team members in: IL, Vancouver, Kalamazoo, NJ, Upper East and West Sides, and Dr. Oz received an honorary team member tee.  

The front of the tee was a shout out to Dr. Oz, who did my surgery.  The tinman (Wizard of Oz, get it?) asking if you've "got heart". 

The back of the tee said:

'operor panton per totus of vestri pectus'

(Do everything with all of your heart.  Colossians 3.23)

Some pics (I will post more later):

I'm a survivor!  

Those of us wearing red caps during the event were all survivors and showed that we are "Fighting Back"!! 

Our walking team in the financial district (thanks guys!)

Some of our remote team members:
          
Dad and Mama Jan in IL                                                                 Mom in IL              

          

Shannon in Kalamazoo, MI                                 Peter and Cheryl in NJ

           Amanda and Laura in NYC                                   Laura again, my favorite little lady

                                                        


We also had many family and friends support us (via The American Heart Association) financially, which was a huge blessing.  This money helps to improve patient care, advocate for better health, reach out, educate, and raise awareness.

Heart Disease and stroke are the number 1 and number 3 killers in America and I'm certain each of us know someone affected by one or both.  I am very passionate about helping raise awareness, especially to alert young people that these issues are not just for your grandparents.  We are all affected.

It is hard to believe it has been two years since we started on this journey.  Amazing how the path of life drastically changes and your passions take a major shift as well.  I was unaware of so much those short two years ago and I will continue to share my story as long as I know it can help save lives.  

Open Heart Demo & Memories of the Big Day

Joel and I went to an open heart demo at the hospital on June 8 and it was a-ma-zing!
so cool and SO informative.
How often do you go into open heart surgery (or any surgery for that matter), are knocked out for 8+ hours and have a clear idea of what is happening to your body during that time?
....yeah, never.

There were a few things I remember leading up to the surgery:
-waking up stinking early the day of and taking a cab to the hospital
-waiting in one room and then being shifted to another room where Dad and Joel came with me.  In the second waiting room I put on my robe, went to the bathroom (yeah, as if that was needed as just moments later they put in the catheter, ha!), took out my contacts, and waited to be called into the O.R.
-a nurse then escorted me down the hall and into the O.R.  I couldn't see a thing without my glasses or contacts, so I remember hanging onto his elbow
-we walked into the O.R. and the nurses and docs had me lay down on the bed
-they spoke to me for awhile telling me a bit about what would happen during the surgery and then told me they were going to put the anesthesia mask on.  They continued to ask me questions about basically nothing, then... I. was. out.

After that...I have not a clue what happened.

So, Joel and I went to this demo to find out what the heck they did to me!
This was certainly not for those with a queasy stomach.

The doctor giving the demo showed us a video of my awesome doc in the O.R. and some basics of what he does along with shots of the heart/lung bypass machine. (a pic) wow.

He also passed around: 

--a chest tube (also: here and here) which is "used to remove fluid from the space between the lungs and the wall of the chest.  The tube is placed between the ribs and into the space between the inner and outer lining of the lungs".

--a pace maker

--the wire attached to your heart during and after surgery. I don't remember the name of it, (AICD? Automatic Implantable Cardioverter Defibrillator?) but it helps maintain the electrical current of the heart...similar use as a pace maker, but it's temporary

--and some other tools used (note the one in the top center, thats how they crank and keep ya open! wo.)

It was amazing to see and touch these items.  (I did not have a pace maker put in, but it was still pretty neat to see what it was.)

He also told us some of the steps that happened after we are knocked out:
-they wash our whole body with a special anti-bacterial soap
-cover us up with the fancy blue sheets (one which had a special window just to the heart)
-cut open our skin, pry open the ribs, do the wee little op, and sew us back up!

Now, my surgery was a minimally invasive open heart surgery and not your traditional crack open the breast bone surgery. So instead of being on my back during the procedure, the docs had to roll me on my side and stretch the ribs open instead of just opening and closing the breast bone.

As the ribs shift back into place it is certainly pretty painful, but the recovery time for minimally invasive is shorter. With this, you can return to your normal life and activities pretty quickly.
There is less also scarring with minimal invasive,
I have an incision only about 4 inches long under my right breast:

(this pic was taken just 4 weeks after surgery, now, just over a year later... you can barely even see any of the scarring! woot! Vitamin E oil helps the scarring as well)

Needless to say this demo was incredible and very informative. Joel and I were the youngest ones in the room, but it was wonderful to be in a room full of supporters and folks who had been through the same thing and to learn more  about what has happened to my body. Incredible.

One Year & kicking strong...

ONE YEAR...


June 15, 2009: Open Heart Surgery


June 15, 2010: thanking God for all of His blessings and protection through crazy times.  I'm onto bigger and better things...and oh so grateful I'm still alive. wow.  PTL

What is so hard about the word "trim"?

I REALLY needed a trim a couple weeks back, so I thought "I'll just shoot across the street & get a quick trim. They can't hurt my hair too much by just cleaning it up"....boy oh boy oh boy was I WRONG.

I get to the salon- there is a woman there who looks pretty hip and capable of cutting my hair...then she passes me along to a 70+ year old woman who didn't speak English (having a language barrier when trying to communicate to someone how you want your hair is not ideal...)

The 70+ lady then proceeded to 'wash' my hair.  She tugged and shoved my head in various directions, got water all down my face and in my eyes, and I didn't even get that nice head massage always given when your hair is washed.

I ask for my hair to be TRIMMED! ...the woman cuts some off, shows it to me, and gestures as if to say "is that ok? good?" (remember we have the aforementioned language barrier happening...)  I look at the chunk she cut off (pretty close to 4-5 inches) & I say "no, no that is way too much!!!" Now of course the woman didn't understand what I was saying so the 'hip' lady had to try and translate for me.
The rest of the cut seemed to proceed pretty well with my head being yanked around only a small number of times...but then....

As the woman went on to dry my hair I ask to have it diffused, so that it will be curly (my hair varies depending on how it's dried).  Again, we have the language barrier and ms. hip helps us again.  Moments later....my hair is dry.  It is uneven. It is 3 inches shorter.  and I look like Farrah Fawcett.

I realize now that I should have walked out of the salon as soon as my head was tugged around as it was being washed.  But, alas, now I know my lesson.
Don't just 'pop-in' to a salon hoping to get a nice safe quick trim.

Why is May important?

Did you know that May is Stroke and High Blood Pressure Awareness Month?
As many of you know by now...I had a stroke on May 25, 2008.
There are many ways that a stroke can affect someone...some are unfortunate and loose their lives, some paralyzed, some can't talk, some go blind, the side effects can be quite scary.
I am one of the lucky ones.
Sure, I may have to be more fervent with certain tasks of life such as working out my left side more than my right...but these are small trivial side affects.  I have been able to go back to living my life as I did before.  I still play sports, I still can remember random moments from the past (as my friend KatieG is so keenly aware of...how do I remember the name of the random lady from childhood who's birthday is on leap year?), I can keep up with the pace of the NYC life, and I can praise God for keeping me alive.
In this blessing...I aim to raise awareness.
Get your exercise.  Drink Water. Eat healthy. Know your family's health history.  Definitely know your own body and health history.  Take preventative action.
Don't say "Oh, I'm young.  I'm not at risk for anything" this is just plain ignorance folks.
Take care of your body.

Gummi Bear??

The other day I saw this girl on the subway and I couldn't help but to try and sneak a pic.
After many tries and a with major zoom from my less than perfect cell camera...I got it.
Here she is...know who this reminds me of?
Anyone? Anyone?

"I bet you never smelled a real school bus before... Gummi bear? It's been in my pocket; they're real warm and soft."

I certainly couldn't stop laughing to myself! Was it because she still had the major 80's glasses, haircut, and wardrobe? Was it thinking of the many times I've watched this movie with my sister as we quote along? Was it then thinking of the many moments I've spent with my sister just laughing for no reason at all?
Probably...all of the above.

I also knew it certainly was a good thing that my sister was not with me on the subway, we would've laughed like little girls do in church when they're not supposed to be laughing...
And I definitely knew it reminded me of how much I love my sister & how she's always been there for me to laugh and laugh and laugh with thru good and bad.

Didn't think this blog was gonna get all sappy...

but I LOVE MY SISTER!!!!

postscript: this blog was actually named with my dear sis and our fun times in mind...

Just call me Andy Millman...

Andy Millman is my name

being an 'extra' is certainly not my main game....

but! I have started doing it a wee bit.

I've always been intrigued by the world of film and TV and doing extra work is a nice way to weazel your way into it to learn...and get paid!

With it though, goes the professional extra's.
(there's even a documentary about them)

Me oh my...they are some characters.

Here's the honorable mentions (and only after 2 days):

-the guy who with every conversation found ways to tell me all about all of his extra work. what he did, who he ran into, and what movie he was 'in'

-the gal who spoke of all of the 'roles' the casting director called her for, that she missed. all the while, talking loud enough so that everyone in holding could hear her (tho the 'roles' she spoke of were those like: gal at the bar, woman with stroller, things like that...)

-and of course there are the many who 'compete' with one another to be in just the right spot so the camera can see them pantomiming just perfectly

-and those who pretty much just drool over seeing the famous actor we are working with (instead of remembering that said famous person is a just human being and that, yes, we can talk to them like regular humans)

and my favorite of them all...

-the gentleman who was Indian and was proud to tell me that "because he was Indian" one of his "dream roles [as an extra and as an Indian]" was to be a terrorist on 24.  wow.

yes, of course there are those of us that are there to learn, to get some on set experience, and to maybe just maybe become BFF's with the PA. Who maybe just maybe like you lots and want to use you more. And then maybe just maybe you'll be in the right spot at the right time...and maybe just maybe they'll want to give you a line or 2...

yes, this would be super cool...a gal can dream....

And of course, I also have to admit that I did enjoy my brief interaction with Jeff Goldblum where he had me read a script with him that he was working on.  This lasted all of 2 minutes, but yes, it was fun.  :)

I am certainly loving the experience and the things I'm learning on set, yet I have no intention of becoming an professional extra.

But maybe just maybe...I may become BFF's with the PA and who knows....????

until then, look for the blur walking by on Law and Order. 

Overheard on the Subway...

A conversation I overheard on the subway train today...
Man on his phone:
"Hey man! What's up!?
Yeah, I'm late. Sorry.
Train...Ya know!!!?
Yeah, Yeah, I'll be there soon though!
In about 45 minutes or so."

45 minutes!?
"soon" ???
really?

OH, the Subway

In the last week on the MTA Subway System I saw:

a young woman who was inside the tunnel,
forgot her umbrella was up.

a man carrying a saw...creepy!

What is a Patent Foramen Ovale???

A Patent Fo-what O-What?
A Patent Foramen Ovale.
{pronounced PAY-tent fore-A-men O-val-eh}
What is a PFO??

First, there is the need to explain what the Foramen Ovale is  ::
When in the womb, our circulatory system works differently than when out.  We do not yet use our lungs when in the womb because we receive our vitamins & nourishment from our moms through the umbilical cord & placenta.  Since our circulatory system works differently at this stage, the Foramen Ovale is the small hole in the atrial septum (upper chambers of the heart) that allows the blood to circulate.
When we are born, the circulatory system changes.  The Foramen Ovale usually closes with our first big breath.  This breath causes the lungs to fill and thus causing Foramen Ovale to close because of the pressure of the circulatory system getting 'on track'.

BUT!
When the Foramen Ovale doesn’t close properly it is called a Patent Foramen Ovale (PFO).

This type of defect generally works like a flap valve, opening during certain conditions when there is more pressure inside the chest.  When the PFO is present it allows blood to take 'short cuts' through the heart. 

(See the image to the left for what the PFO looks like.)

Approximately 25-30% of the general population has a PFO (occasionally, it can be heard with a heart murmur).  Many people can live with a PFO without any problems.  But there is the possible risk of migraines, strokes, and the possibility of not being able to scuba dive.


resourses for this info:
--mostly, my brain and things I've learned in the past couple of years.  along with these links ::
--Foramen Ovale
--PFO
--Fetal Circulation

"Now Go Out & Change the World"

These are the words Dr. Oz spoke to me on Friday, February 26.  I went to a recording of his show and said hello to him when the taping was over...he remembered me.
He did my open heart surgery June 15, 2009.
I told him thank you.
I told him he did a fantastic job.
I told him I feel great.
He gave me a couple of hugs and then said "Now go out and change the world"
quite a big feat!
"change the WORLD!"
well, I don't know if I can change the entire world...but I sure can at least continue to share my story.

Today's Entry
young women can have a stroke
Yes, it can happen.
Strokes are not just for older folks or people who are overweight or smokers or those who have high blood pressure or are migraine sufferers...
I was 30 when I had my stroke.
I had no family history of stoke, blood clots, heart issues...none.
Yet, I had a stroke.
One huge contributing factor: birth control (along with my 'thick blood' that the doctors found after I had the stroke...why did they not test this before I took the pill!?)
Doctors are so quick to prescribe the pill that I feel that they don't ask all of the precautionary questions or even take any precationary tests at all before handing out this extemely powerful daily drug.  Since I had my stroke, I have heard more & more stories of young women who have also had a stroke because of birth control.  Some have died, some paralyzed, some were lucky like me & hardly have any residual effects. 
(Here is another woman's story...quite similar to mine. and another link to cnn.com on the same topic)
Awhile back, I was in one doctor's office and was talking to him about my stroke.  I got on my soapbox and mentioned "If only doctors would do all of the precautionary testing on women before prescribing such a powerful drug" and he said "What, we're supposed to test every single woman that goes on the pill!?" I replied "YES! save a few lives!"
However, in addition to doctors being more careful about prescribing any old thing to their patients...we as the patient need to be careful in letting them prescribe any old thing to us.
Take charge, know your body, do your research.

I will admit, I took the pill without doing all of the precautionary research for myself.  I assumed, like many of my friends and other millions of women who take it, that I would be fine.  That I was immune to the small print on the prescription info sheet.  Yet, I was only on the pill for a year and a half...then had a stroke.

I can't really tell you what to do with your body and what to put in it or not put in it....but I can raise awareness.  Just like knowing that we need to do 30 minutes of cardio and eat our fruits and veggies each day, we need to be aware of the fine print.

Know to take care of your body, know the warning signs of a stroke.  Tell your friends and neighbors...and be careful of what you put in your body.

I can not go back and change the past. 
I am a young woman who has had a stroke and open heart surgery.
I now share my story, I raise awareness, I will try and do as Dr. Oz has challenged me and "go out and change the world".

postscript: I am convinced that my mom is the only one that reads my blog and I really do appreciate it Mom!, but I'm curious if there are others out there...what are your thoughts, questions, stories?

She's Here & I'm STOKED!!!!!!

My dear sweet awesome loving faithful friend had her baby today.

I AM STOKED!!!!!!!!

Laura is her name.

She is awesome!

She is long.

She's gonna be so loved by so many and  her parents are gonna do a WONDERFUL job.

We love you Laura! 

Welcome to the world!

February 6, 2010

7:53am

YAY!

  

CONGRATS AMANDA AND LEE LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!!!

PS: for more pics check out Kate's blog.