The beginning of what I hope to continue...
"letters" to various moments of my life.
(here's some oldies)
Dear....
October '09 ::
-Craigslist Scammers : you don't trick me!
-iPod Classic : stop playing the same songs over and over and over again...on shuffle!
-Other side of the tracks : I guess you're not so much "the other side of the tracks"
-Facebook : you seem to have broken since you, once again, changed the layout. thank you.
November '09 ::
-Blind Man : sorry I told you to 'watch your step' as I helped you across the street.
-Discount Website : you are not a discount website as your tickets aren't any cheaper than a regular website.
-Man in Elevator Lobby : I already pushed the elevator button, it is lit. you pressing it again, many times, will not make the elevator arrive.
-Customer Service : you outsourcing my call does not count as 'customer service'
-2009: thank you for being here for me and helping me laugh through everything, but now that you are almost over, I can NOT wait to put you behind me. bring it 2010!!!
December '09 ::
-Person using the dryer before me : check your pockets first, I could've stolen that 200 bucks! (but I didn't)
-Snow : two years in a row I miss my Christmas flight because of you!? come on!
-Ladies who wear heels in the snowy slush : what are you thinking?
January '10 ::
-Billing Agent : I can't pay the bill if you don't answer your phone or call me back!
-Stores within the depths of the NYC subway : how do you stay in business? who shops there?
February '10 ::
-Myspace : goodbye.
-Customer Service Rep : you do not know me. don't call me hon, sweetie, honey, sweets, doll...and anything else that is SO NOT professional!
-NYC : you smell like an old wet dog today.
March '10 ::
-Hershey's Syrup : stop tempting me with your chocolate milk goodness
-Customer Service Rep : I am standing next to you, face to face! please don't tell me to 'call customer service' to help me with my issue!
-Customer Service Rep : I have been on hold with you for 20+ minutes just so you can fix what you already messed up on!? arg.
April '10 ::
-Beautician : I asked you to trim my hair, not cut off 3" and make it uneven with a Marsha Brady slope in the back.
May '10 ::
-Friends : your 4D baby pics are creeping me out.
-Home Depot : Just because I am a woman in your store does not mean I don't know what I'm doing...and it ESPECIALLY means I'm not there to pick guys up.
-People : is it too much to ask for you to do a job with ethical standards and at a top notch level?
-NYers : please look up when texting and do not run into me.
June '10 ::
-Old Women who shop in Forever 21 : don't.
-20 year old intern new to NYC with your hands full : it's not such a wise idea to carry 7 Starbucks drinks in their nice little carries and leave the last/8th slot open to carry your iPhone and credit card.
-Zac Efron and HSM : you have nothing on the old school awesomeness of "Grease"
July '10 ::
-Big Man with Lots of Hair and a Beer Belly: Just because it is a million degrees outside doesn't mean you don't need to wear a shirt.
-Woman pushing the stroller : don't put all of the groceries on the stroller canopy, just above the kid's head.
-Kid in line for Shakespeare in the Park tix: Yes, this play will be "all in that, like, Shakespeare language".
-Man with Stroller : You can not push the stroller through a revolving door. thank you.
-Woman trying to get in the elevator in the lobby : Just hold your horses! You think I wanna get back on this thing and ride back up with you!?
