Women get married, women take their husband's name.
It happens all the time.
OH!
Except when you live in Queens, NY or Vegas...then, there are special rules.
Our government Social Security offices have decided that if you live in Queens, NY or in Vegas... that there are special rules to submit your paper work.
It seems as if anywhere else in the country you can change your name with some ease.
But not when you live in Queens or Vegas....we're special here & have to do it the special way.
Let me tell you a bit about my journey:
~Joel & I go to get our marriage license.
~on the marriage license you tell them what name you want.
-keep your maiden name
-take your husband's name
-hyphenate the 2 names
-do something else.
this is suppose to make it easier when you change everything with Social Security & all the other peeps.
~I chose to keep my maiden name (as a middle name) and add my husband's name (as my last name) , without the hyphen.
~this is recorded on the license, we get married (YAY!), now I'm all set to go to Social Security & change it all....
~I go to the Social Security office, during my lunch break, wait for about an hour & 15 minutes
~I observe how easy it is for the other "name changers" in line as they submit their paper work.
~I get to the front of the line, submit my papers and.....
WAIT! They tell me I'm not supposed to be there! I live in Queens & I have to go to the special office.
~ok, not such a big deal, I only wasted my lunch break waiting in line to do nothing!
then......
~I take a day off work (because the SS office is only open during office hours) -- fortunately my husband was able to come with me, it was nice to have the company.
~we buy a train ticket to Jamaica, Queens -- really far out in Queens & WAY too far to try & ride the subway to.
~I wait in line for an hour at the SS office in Queens, all my paperwork filled out & ready to go!
~I get to the front of the line, only to be told that I can't have my maiden name as my middle name (WHAT! I have other friends who have done this with NO problem!)
~I am told I have to go to the "Name Change Office" to officially change my name.
(which seems a little odd since, according to the Social Security website, your marriage certificate/license is enough proof for the name change)
~ok, we got to the Name Change Office, fill out all the paper work, & have to submit a fee (yes, I had to pay to do all of this....)
~so, now......
~I am waiting for the judge to approve my name change & tell me "it's ok" for me to have my husband's name & keep something I already have (my maiden name)
~it takes "about 8 weeks" for my paperwork to even reach the judge's hands
~then I have to put a note in the paper telling the world I have a new name:
the gal formerly known as "Megan middle name last name" will now be known as "Megan middle name last name married name"
It all seems like a lot of work.
yes, I know I'm making it a little harder on myself by not just dropping my maiden name, but that name means a lot to me & even tho I can't 'officially' carry on the family name, we only have a couple of gents who can do so.
So, I wanna help keep the name alive.
Did I mention that the "customer service" at the SS & Name Change offices weren't too helpful either?
I just wanted to ask questions to make sure I was doing the right thing!
So, now I wait for the judge....
Oh, how I pray it'll all work out ok.
For now I feel like I don't have a real last name.
& don't get me started on trying to book travel (flights, car rental, hotels) through all of this!!!
Sheesh!
You'd think that by now with the millions of women who get married every year, that the government would know how to handle this & make it easier!
Lord help us.
Any words from the wise who have done this run around before?
2 comments:
Oh don't even get me started.
My daughter, who is now 5 and was born at home didn't ever get a SS# because I procrastinated waaaay too long in applying for one. So after getting the dependent tax credit for 4 years now, this year we suddenly owed nearly $2000 because they stated that we couldn't claim her as a dependent w/o a ss#. OK. Mind you, months before this I sent everything to the SS office that I was supposed to--(NY btw)--all original documents and they sent them right back, stating that I needed to send the originals. WTF? So, I called the number indicated on the letter and was automatically put on hold for 45 minutes and then hung up on. Aghgh!! I tried again another day... same thing. I tried another day... you guessed it. No one would ever answer the phone. Four months later... (because that's my life) after receiving a bill from the IRS, I sent SS a letter with a bunch more original documentation--one being my sealed birth certificate--and they called to say they needed an updated piece of ID for me (the mother) such as my driver's license. Sheesh!!! Long story longer... I sent my DL in and my daughter finally got her SS#.
Now the IRS has us waiting around to see if we really can get the tax credit that they've given us already for 4 years now. As if she doesn't exist without a SS#. Go figure!
(Sorry about the length--but you got me started).
OK, here's my story:
When I got married, I wanted to hyphenate my name...the dutch way, which is married-hyphen-maiden ...totally opposite from the american way of maiden-hyphen-married. Since we were in China my mom asked when she was checking out the reqs for getting a marriage license for us. They said I could change my name however I wanted. So we come back to IL, get married, go on honeymoon and then promptly leave country and head over to Holland where we had reception #2 before heading back to China. So I went to the embassy in Amsterdam had my passport amended without any questions whatsoever. A couple years later on my next trip back to the states, I figure I'd better head on over to the DMV and change my drivers license. How hard can it be? Afterall, I already changed my passport. After waiting a while, I got up to the clerk who informed me I could not change my name in such a way. I could only change it to married or maiden-hyphen-married. I quickly reminded her that I already changed the name in my passport and wouldn't that be confusing if I had different versions of my name? But then she strongly countered that THEY were the STATE of ILLINOIS, which apparently supercedes the federal government! I could not win this battle so I gave in and went home with just my married name. I mean, wouldn't that be worse to have my name changed to TWO different hyphenated versions?!? Later that day I called the Secretary of State's office in Springfield...did you know they are elected officials and care about what their voters think? I told them my little dilemma and they told me to go back to another DMV and change my name however I wanted and if I had any problems to tell them to call them. Which is exactly what I did and that seemed to solve all problems. I am now Ruth married-hyphen-maiden!!! Hooray!
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