Open or Closed?

It's signs like this that make me confused...
perhaps it should say "Yes, We're Lazy"

A little morning show & a little print work...

Matt Lauer is now doing print work for CVS.AWSOME!

addendum: and...in doing some 'research', seems as if I'm not the first person to notice this.

Working...

Hum....
I guess I can't work today!









I forgot my hat.
dag.

But! What if I'm on Fire?!

Today I was in a building.
I walked down the hall to the restroom.
On my way, I walked past the fire escape.
Then I stopped & looked:
-there was yellow caution tape laid lazily across the door & taped up with some office scotch tape.
then, there was a sign:
-on 8 x 11 white office paper
-written with a black sharpie
-with the printing of a 4th grader
it read:
"Fire Escape is under construction, please do not use."

Well that's just great!
What if I leave my hot pocket in the toaster too long & the kitchen is on fire & we have to RUN!
then what?
not very convenient folks.

(ps-- bonus points for whoever can tell me where I stole the hot pockets fire ref from)

Influenza Campaign

I started to write about this before, but I didn't have the pictures to go with the story. Now, you can see the goofiness for yourself...thank you MTA.

Here we go............
Influenza is just a fancy way to say 'the flu'.
This past winter the MTA started a 'campaign' to warn us to be careful of catching the flu.
They showed us darling pictures of family & friends, with a scare tactic tag line on the side that said "INFLUENZA KILLS!!!" (insert evil scary music here)
While running this campaign they told us to be careful, take necessary precautions, & not be around too many sick people...all while tainting our view of precious moments spent with family & friends....it was pretty funny.

See pictures below:

PICTURE #1

"Influenza Spreads by word of mouth"

I like to call this, "don't spend time with your friends, they could make you sick"

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PICTURE #2

"Influenza likes to keep it in the family"

I call this one, "& don't spend time with your family either"

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PICTURE #3

"Influenza loves private moments"

or as it read on another train "Even moments like this can cause influenza"

And this (my favorite one of all...) I call "don't read with Gramps, he's sick & you might die."

Nice Picture Junior!

So, there is a kid in RI who thought that this picture:

would be an appropriate way to express himself in his senior yearbook.
His school however, rejected the picture because of its "zero tollerance against weapons".

The kid's mom also agreed with Junior that this was his way of expressing what he was interested in at the time & had nothing to do with promoting violence. So, then mamma sued the school cus she was bummed that her little Knight wouldn't be seen in his Senior yearbook.
(all info taken from msnbc.com).

I don't know about you, but I think this case should go to the school cus that poor kid is gonna go to his 10 year reunion & think "Dear Lord! What was I thinking!"

Queasy Stomachs Beware!

TRUE STORY:
I was waiting for the 1 @ Columbus Circle on Saturday morning & I noticed a gentleman doing 'snot rockets' onto the subway tracks. Gross!
BUT!
The t-shirt he wore:
had a picture of a bacteria looking creature with a circle around it & line through it to cross-out the creature. above this, his t-shirt read "Bacteria Busters", as if he was saying "I represent Bacteria Busters".

I don't know about you, but after seeing this display of behavior I don't think this man should be allowed to wear the shirt.

Note: for those of you that don't know what a 'snot rocket' is...I will just say it has to do with blowing your nose with as much force as possible, without the tissue. This display of behavior is usually seen when watching the World Cup.

TIMMY NO!! Stop Spending Quality Time With Grandpa!

On average, I spend about an hour on the subway each day with my many trips to & fro throughout the city. I don't always have a book with me, so I end up reading the various signs that line the overhead advertising in the subway car. I have become quite aware of some of these signs & would like to share some with you...

One of my classic favorites that MANY of you New Yorkers will recognize is the Dr. Z dermatologist ad:
I have always loved the before & after make-over pictures & this one is a classic case.
before:
1) the gal obviously didn't shower before taking the picture.
2) she doesn't have on any make-up
3) she is not smiling
4) she looks like she just rolled outta bed
then! VOILA!
in her 'after' picture she is smiling, has taken a shower, put on some make-up, & obviously got a few hours of sleep the night before.
wow! what a shower, smile, & tube of lipstick can do for a gal!

Another new favorite of mine -- (oh how i wish i had a picture of it...it's WAY cuter than this picture)

let me describe it to you......
there is a lovely picture of a Grandfather reading a book to the cutest little 4 year old boy you ever saw! curly hair, wearing a sweater vest over a nicely pressed plaid shirt, khaki's, & the biggest smile of adoration for his Gramps.
& Grandpa looks like a happy feller too!
He's holding Jr. in on his lap with his arms around the boy while reading a classic story to the youngster.
ah...a lovely picture of quality time between Grandpa & Jr.
BUT WAIT!
there is a caption underneath it that reads:
"Even moments like this can cause influenza"
then the ad proceeds to tell you about influenza & how it is caused.
wow, I never thought a precious picture of Grandpa & Jr. could be so tainted with influenza! thank you MTA.

OH NO! I misplaced my leg!!!

This ad that is in the subway is quite bizarre...

Tell me something...how do you lose a prosthetic leg?

other odd things shows that people seem to lose on the subway or bus:

-tin cans that are already open

-king cobra's

-something that looks a heck of a lot like a UFO

-boomerang

-dentures

WHAT!?

Even if I wanted to...

Even if I wanted to, I couldn't do it. OK...so here's something I've been thinking about lately-- useless insignificant inapt pointless senseless additional information (i'll call it UIIPSAI & obviosly use more words than necessary to stress my point). The NYC Transit seems to really like using this UIIPSAI process. Many times I have seen signs that just tell me something that is completely irrelevant. For example: I have seen signs that say "no transfers at this station" or "the E train runs express this weekend from Roosevelt Ave. to Queens Plaza" or (my personal favorite) "no tokens at this time". Why bother wasting all of that signage & ad space to tell me I can't do something even if I wanted to do it? Transfers: If I wanted to transfer at the station with the sign, I couldn't anyway...so why bother to tell me I can't. The E Train: the E always runs express on the weekends from Roosevelt to the Plaza...so why tell me it is still doing what it always does?? The tokens: I LOVE when I see this sign!! Tokens were pretty much retired from use within the subway system a few years ago. There is no place to even put a token if you had one & wanted to use it to pay your fare. This information telling me "no tokens at this time" is just silly & useless. This is like putting up a sign at Starbucks that says "we don't have inexpensive coffee right now". (nor will they ever, if I wanted to get cheap coffee there, I couldn't). Or a sign at a sushi place that says "we don't have burgers today". I think the philosophy that may go with this extra signage seems silly. The people that put the signs up in the Subway may think "we'll put up more information so we don't confuse people." Yes, there is something to be said for clear communication & that is SOOO important. However, on that road to strive for clear communication we can tend to over stress our point or give UIIPSAI that confuses the other party & may steer them in the wrong direction. Clear communication....yes VERY important. UIIPSAI....too too much & potentially causes further confusion. Consider yourselves warned-- Beware of UIIPSAI.

The 99¢ Menu

When on the subway recently I saw an ad that read: "Take your date somewhere that doesn't have a 99¢ menu." EB Games. My intitial thought when I read this was..."YES! of COURSE you don't take a date to a place that has a 99¢ menu! Isn't that a common known fact? You take them somewhere a bit nicer...even if (in suburbia) it is a TGI Friday's." However, when further reading this ad, I realized exactly what kind of company this was---EB Games is: an Electronics Boutique that offers a large selection of new, used & hard to find titles at great prices with fast processing & shipping. (info blurb taken from google.com) With this I came to my own conclusion that the ad was saying "take your date to a video game store instead of the place with the 99¢ menu." Then I thought...uh NO! you do NOT take your date to a video game store either!!! Gentleman, gentleman...I sure do hope that with the influence of the media ads like this that you do not think that it is OK to take your date to a place with a 99¢ menu or even a video game store. Even if you're broke...be creative! Pack a picnic, go somewhere to people watch & make stories up of the people you're seeing, go for a walk...there are many alternatives to spending money on a date. (shoot, I'm even a gal who will help pay for the bill...the man does not always have to get it). I will say yes...it is nice to be taken somewhere amazing & romantic & lovely...but it is not always necessary to spend lots of major bucks on a date. Along with this goes the simple gesture of chivalry .... it goes a LONG way...you can try to woo & wow with the lobster dinner on the sea, but if you don't have even a bit of chivalry, you don't have much. (I am fortunate to have gentlemen in my life exemplify this & it is a nice gesture). All of this said...be gentleman & put in a little thought to what you are offering your woman, otherwise you could be eating your 99¢ burger alone while playing Frogger.