Overheard on the Subway...

A conversation I overheard on the subway train today...
Man on his phone:
"Hey man! What's up!?
Yeah, I'm late. Sorry.
Train...Ya know!!!?
Yeah, Yeah, I'll be there soon though!
In about 45 minutes or so."

45 minutes!?
"soon" ???
really?

OH, the Subway

In the last week on the MTA Subway System I saw:

a young woman who was inside the tunnel,
forgot her umbrella was up.

a man carrying a saw...creepy!

Subway Observations...

The other day on the subway I saw:

-a woman strumming her guitar on the 7 train (in Queens) who I used to see ALL the time when I lived on the Upper West Side, 9 years ago.

-a homeless man helping a blind man onto the train

-a man on the platform tossing bread to the rats

yes, all on the same day.

all in a days work...

Jail Time.

I heard this on the subway the other day:
"Sometimes I think they let me outta jail too early!"

yeah, me too.

Influenza Campaign

I started to write about this before, but I didn't have the pictures to go with the story. Now, you can see the goofiness for yourself...thank you MTA.

Here we go............
Influenza is just a fancy way to say 'the flu'.
This past winter the MTA started a 'campaign' to warn us to be careful of catching the flu.
They showed us darling pictures of family & friends, with a scare tactic tag line on the side that said "INFLUENZA KILLS!!!" (insert evil scary music here)
While running this campaign they told us to be careful, take necessary precautions, & not be around too many sick people...all while tainting our view of precious moments spent with family & friends....it was pretty funny.

See pictures below:

PICTURE #1

"Influenza Spreads by word of mouth"

I like to call this, "don't spend time with your friends, they could make you sick"

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PICTURE #2

"Influenza likes to keep it in the family"

I call this one, "& don't spend time with your family either"

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PICTURE #3

"Influenza loves private moments"

or as it read on another train "Even moments like this can cause influenza"

And this (my favorite one of all...) I call "don't read with Gramps, he's sick & you might die."

You Can't Trust the Irish!

One day early last fall, Joel & I were leaving church & there was a woman standing outside asking for money & food. Well, neither of us are too comfortable giving out money, so Joel said "hey, there is a deli around the corner, why don't I buy you some food!"
The woman kindly took Joel up on his offer & he bought her a nice healthy chicken breast. We chatted with her for awhile, as she told us how she got to be in her situation (an uncle took the family wealth...or something) & then we were on our way.

A few months had passed & I was on my way to work one morning (across town from where we go to church) & I saw the same woman.
I walked up to her & I said "Hi, I remember you! My boyfriend bought you food one day outside of our church ____."
She said "Yes! That is my church! Are you able to help me out?"
Again, being uncomfortable with giving money out, I said "Well, I have some of my lunch in my bag, you can have some of that!" and the woman took it with a smile.
After taking the food from me she said "Do you possibly know of any place that can help me get a job? I really need a job right now."
I said "I know lots of places & temp agencies, there's actually a really great temp agency right down the street & they can probably help you pretty quickly."
Immediately after I finished telling her where she could go to look for a job, she asked me "Are you possibly Irish?"
I thought to myself, what kind of question is that!?
But replied with a grin full of Irish pride..."Why, yes I am!"
As I said yes, the woman grabbed the food I had given her out of her bag & handed it back to me while saying "I'm sorry, but the Irish always seem to steer me in the wrong direction, I'm going to have to give this back to you."
I said "No, please I am trying to bless you!"
She said "No, thank you, I've just been steered wrong by the Irish."
I said "Ok, well, God Bless!" & walked away.
But as I was starting to walk away she asked me if I had any money.
I said "No, sorry." & walked off...chuckling to myself.
She couldn't take my advice or my food since I was Irish, but she could take my money...interesting!

Of course, I immediately told this story to Joel & we laughed about it...eventually forgetting what had happened.
Until this past Sunday.....
Again, we were leaving church & again the same woman was outside asking for money or food.
As I saw her I pointed her out to Joel telling him "LOOK! It's the lady who doesn't trust the Irish!"
So, as we walked past her & she asked for money Joel said to her "I'm sorry, we can't help you...we're both Irish."
Then I heard the woman say something like "OH, ok."

Now, I couldn't help but laugh at this.
I'm not laughing at the woman being in her position & needing to beg (I pray that I never have to go through that.)
But...to have prejudice against someone because they are Irish? When you are in need of help?
That is just silly.

So, if you do see our friend & would like to help her, please do...I would like to, but I'm Irish.

Queasy Stomachs Beware!

TRUE STORY:
I was waiting for the 1 @ Columbus Circle on Saturday morning & I noticed a gentleman doing 'snot rockets' onto the subway tracks. Gross!
BUT!
The t-shirt he wore:
had a picture of a bacteria looking creature with a circle around it & line through it to cross-out the creature. above this, his t-shirt read "Bacteria Busters", as if he was saying "I represent Bacteria Busters".

I don't know about you, but after seeing this display of behavior I don't think this man should be allowed to wear the shirt.

Note: for those of you that don't know what a 'snot rocket' is...I will just say it has to do with blowing your nose with as much force as possible, without the tissue. This display of behavior is usually seen when watching the World Cup.

TIMMY NO!! Stop Spending Quality Time With Grandpa!

On average, I spend about an hour on the subway each day with my many trips to & fro throughout the city. I don't always have a book with me, so I end up reading the various signs that line the overhead advertising in the subway car. I have become quite aware of some of these signs & would like to share some with you...

One of my classic favorites that MANY of you New Yorkers will recognize is the Dr. Z dermatologist ad:
I have always loved the before & after make-over pictures & this one is a classic case.
before:
1) the gal obviously didn't shower before taking the picture.
2) she doesn't have on any make-up
3) she is not smiling
4) she looks like she just rolled outta bed
then! VOILA!
in her 'after' picture she is smiling, has taken a shower, put on some make-up, & obviously got a few hours of sleep the night before.
wow! what a shower, smile, & tube of lipstick can do for a gal!

Another new favorite of mine -- (oh how i wish i had a picture of it...it's WAY cuter than this picture)

let me describe it to you......
there is a lovely picture of a Grandfather reading a book to the cutest little 4 year old boy you ever saw! curly hair, wearing a sweater vest over a nicely pressed plaid shirt, khaki's, & the biggest smile of adoration for his Gramps.
& Grandpa looks like a happy feller too!
He's holding Jr. in on his lap with his arms around the boy while reading a classic story to the youngster.
ah...a lovely picture of quality time between Grandpa & Jr.
BUT WAIT!
there is a caption underneath it that reads:
"Even moments like this can cause influenza"
then the ad proceeds to tell you about influenza & how it is caused.
wow, I never thought a precious picture of Grandpa & Jr. could be so tainted with influenza! thank you MTA.

OH NO! I misplaced my leg!!!

This ad that is in the subway is quite bizarre...

Tell me something...how do you lose a prosthetic leg?

other odd things shows that people seem to lose on the subway or bus:

-tin cans that are already open

-king cobra's

-something that looks a heck of a lot like a UFO

-boomerang

-dentures

WHAT!?

Even if I wanted to...

Even if I wanted to, I couldn't do it. OK...so here's something I've been thinking about lately-- useless insignificant inapt pointless senseless additional information (i'll call it UIIPSAI & obviosly use more words than necessary to stress my point). The NYC Transit seems to really like using this UIIPSAI process. Many times I have seen signs that just tell me something that is completely irrelevant. For example: I have seen signs that say "no transfers at this station" or "the E train runs express this weekend from Roosevelt Ave. to Queens Plaza" or (my personal favorite) "no tokens at this time". Why bother wasting all of that signage & ad space to tell me I can't do something even if I wanted to do it? Transfers: If I wanted to transfer at the station with the sign, I couldn't anyway...so why bother to tell me I can't. The E Train: the E always runs express on the weekends from Roosevelt to the Plaza...so why tell me it is still doing what it always does?? The tokens: I LOVE when I see this sign!! Tokens were pretty much retired from use within the subway system a few years ago. There is no place to even put a token if you had one & wanted to use it to pay your fare. This information telling me "no tokens at this time" is just silly & useless. This is like putting up a sign at Starbucks that says "we don't have inexpensive coffee right now". (nor will they ever, if I wanted to get cheap coffee there, I couldn't). Or a sign at a sushi place that says "we don't have burgers today". I think the philosophy that may go with this extra signage seems silly. The people that put the signs up in the Subway may think "we'll put up more information so we don't confuse people." Yes, there is something to be said for clear communication & that is SOOO important. However, on that road to strive for clear communication we can tend to over stress our point or give UIIPSAI that confuses the other party & may steer them in the wrong direction. Clear communication....yes VERY important. UIIPSAI....too too much & potentially causes further confusion. Consider yourselves warned-- Beware of UIIPSAI.

The 99¢ Menu

When on the subway recently I saw an ad that read: "Take your date somewhere that doesn't have a 99¢ menu." EB Games. My intitial thought when I read this was..."YES! of COURSE you don't take a date to a place that has a 99¢ menu! Isn't that a common known fact? You take them somewhere a bit nicer...even if (in suburbia) it is a TGI Friday's." However, when further reading this ad, I realized exactly what kind of company this was---EB Games is: an Electronics Boutique that offers a large selection of new, used & hard to find titles at great prices with fast processing & shipping. (info blurb taken from google.com) With this I came to my own conclusion that the ad was saying "take your date to a video game store instead of the place with the 99¢ menu." Then I thought...uh NO! you do NOT take your date to a video game store either!!! Gentleman, gentleman...I sure do hope that with the influence of the media ads like this that you do not think that it is OK to take your date to a place with a 99¢ menu or even a video game store. Even if you're broke...be creative! Pack a picnic, go somewhere to people watch & make stories up of the people you're seeing, go for a walk...there are many alternatives to spending money on a date. (shoot, I'm even a gal who will help pay for the bill...the man does not always have to get it). I will say yes...it is nice to be taken somewhere amazing & romantic & lovely...but it is not always necessary to spend lots of major bucks on a date. Along with this goes the simple gesture of chivalry .... it goes a LONG way...you can try to woo & wow with the lobster dinner on the sea, but if you don't have even a bit of chivalry, you don't have much. (I am fortunate to have gentlemen in my life exemplify this & it is a nice gesture). All of this said...be gentleman & put in a little thought to what you are offering your woman, otherwise you could be eating your 99¢ burger alone while playing Frogger.

Can't we all just get along...

I am one of many people who HAS to ride the subway in the morning during rush hour...we all have to do it. Yet there is always one CRAZY lady (& I mean crazy-- malicious, impudent, Jezebel) who thinks she owns the subway & will do everything in her power to manipulate her teeny amount of space on the train car. She will push, she will yell, she will give you a dirty gaze in attempt to scare you, she will even stand wider than she is in order for you to not get into her space. And, yes, she will likely win. Why will she win?...because if she doesn't we have to endure more of her maliciousness & who wants that? We are packed in like sardines, there is nowhere to go & we all have a destination...lady, you are NOT the only one on the train, not by a long shot. The train has problems: it will make you late, it will stop & you will be left stranded, it will suddenly change route without notice, there are too many people & not enough trains....but lady, please just keep your cool & help make the commute a little bit more enjoyable for the rest of us. Since we have been subject to being stuck on the car with you. Thank you.