Matt Lauer is now doing print work for CVS.
AWSOME!
AWSOME!addendum: and...in doing some 'research', seems as if I'm not the first person to notice this.
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Monday, August 20, 2007
Friday, August 17, 2007
Just tell the truth.
This morning I was walking to work & passed by a cute little man (about 9 years old) & his father.
The little guy said "I want a donut."
To which the dad (older & wiser) replied, "There is not a place to get a donut around here, let's go."
Kid: "Yes there is, right there!"
(the child pointing to the New Yorker's ever faithful coffee, bagel, & donut cart.)
Dad: "No, there's not."
Kid: "Yes there is Dad! I saw one right there!"
(again, pointing to the coffee, bagel, & donut cart.)
Dad: "No, there's not, now let's Go!"
(dad, obviously in a rush & trying to get the cart out of view of the child).
I heard them bicker like this a few more times & it just made me want to go over to the kid & say:
"You're not crazy, you could have gotten a donut back there, I saw it too. But your dad was in a rush & probably on a diet & didn't want you to have a donut. So instead of telling you the truth & saying, 'no we can't have one daddy's dieting & in a rush, lets get fruit or something instead'....he said: NO DUNUTS HERE JUNIOR!"
ah...this poor child.
If only dad would've told him the truth.
Then the kid probably wouldn't be questioning his sight.
Makes me wonder sometimes...am I really crazy, thinking I see things?
or do people just lie a lot?
The little guy said "I want a donut."
To which the dad (older & wiser) replied, "There is not a place to get a donut around here, let's go."
Kid: "Yes there is, right there!"
(the child pointing to the New Yorker's ever faithful coffee, bagel, & donut cart.)
Dad: "No, there's not."
Kid: "Yes there is Dad! I saw one right there!"
(again, pointing to the coffee, bagel, & donut cart.)
Dad: "No, there's not, now let's Go!"
(dad, obviously in a rush & trying to get the cart out of view of the child).
I heard them bicker like this a few more times & it just made me want to go over to the kid & say:
"You're not crazy, you could have gotten a donut back there, I saw it too. But your dad was in a rush & probably on a diet & didn't want you to have a donut. So instead of telling you the truth & saying, 'no we can't have one daddy's dieting & in a rush, lets get fruit or something instead'....he said: NO DUNUTS HERE JUNIOR!"
ah...this poor child.
If only dad would've told him the truth.
Then the kid probably wouldn't be questioning his sight.
Makes me wonder sometimes...am I really crazy, thinking I see things?
or do people just lie a lot?
Friday, July 13, 2007
But! What if I'm on Fire?!
Today I was in a building.
I walked down the hall to the restroom.
On my way, I walked past the fire escape.
Then I stopped & looked:
-there was yellow caution tape laid lazily across the door & taped up with some office scotch tape.
then, there was a sign:
-on 8 x 11 white office paper
-written with a black sharpie
-with the printing of a 4th grader
it read:
"Fire Escape is under construction, please do not use."
Well that's just great!
What if I leave my hot pocket in the toaster too long & the kitchen is on fire & we have to RUN!
then what?
not very convenient folks.
(ps-- bonus points for whoever can tell me where I stole the hot pockets fire ref from)
I walked down the hall to the restroom.
On my way, I walked past the fire escape.
Then I stopped & looked:
-there was yellow caution tape laid lazily across the door & taped up with some office scotch tape.
then, there was a sign:
-on 8 x 11 white office paper
-written with a black sharpie
-with the printing of a 4th grader
it read:
"Fire Escape is under construction, please do not use."
Well that's just great!
What if I leave my hot pocket in the toaster too long & the kitchen is on fire & we have to RUN!
then what?
not very convenient folks.
(ps-- bonus points for whoever can tell me where I stole the hot pockets fire ref from)
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
I love it when...
I love it when:
I push the elevator button & it's all lit up & ready to roll, then...someone will come up behind me & push the button again hard, many times.
As if I didn't push the button hard enough.
I push the elevator button & it's all lit up & ready to roll, then...someone will come up behind me & push the button again hard, many times.
As if I didn't push the button hard enough.
Friday, June 22, 2007
Monday, May 21, 2007
The Blind Man
This morning, I helped a blind man cross the street.
As we got near the curb on the other side I said:
"Watch your step!"
-oops.
As we got near the curb on the other side I said:
"Watch your step!"
-oops.
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Influenza Campaign
I started to write about this before, but I didn't have the pictures to go with the story. Now, you can see the goofiness for yourself...thank you MTA.
Here we go............
Influenza is just a fancy way to say 'the flu'.
This past winter the MTA started a 'campaign' to warn us to be careful of catching the flu.
They showed us darling pictures of family & friends, with a scare tactic tag line on the side that said "INFLUENZA KILLS!!!" (insert evil scary music here)
While running this campaign they told us to be careful, take necessary precautions, & not be around too many sick people...all while tainting our view of precious moments spent with family & friends....it was pretty funny.
See pictures below:
Here we go............
Influenza is just a fancy way to say 'the flu'.
This past winter the MTA started a 'campaign' to warn us to be careful of catching the flu.
They showed us darling pictures of family & friends, with a scare tactic tag line on the side that said "INFLUENZA KILLS!!!" (insert evil scary music here)
While running this campaign they told us to be careful, take necessary precautions, & not be around too many sick people...all while tainting our view of precious moments spent with family & friends....it was pretty funny.
See pictures below:
PICTURE #1
"Influenza Spreads by word of mouth"
I like to call this, "don't spend time with your friends, they could make you sick"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
PICTURE #2
"Influenza likes to keep it in the family"
I call this one, "& don't spend time with your family either" ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
PICTURE #3
"Influenza loves private moments"
or as it read on another train "Even moments like this can cause influenza"
And this (my favorite one of all...) I call "don't read with Gramps, he's sick & you might die."
A little crazy...
I went to the stationary store yesterday to buy 6 pieces of cardstock paper.
I needed the paper cut in 4's.
They wanted to charge me $1/cut to cut the paper.
yes, one Dollar PER cut!
(for 6 pieces of paper, 2 cuts per peice of paper...that's 12 cuts & a bargain of $12 to CUT PAPER!)
a little out of control...ya think?
So, I went to Staples & used their paper cutter to cut the paper myself.
Where the paper cutter with the big sharp blade was left out in the open for anyone (sane or not) to use.
Well, at least I cut the paper for free!
I needed the paper cut in 4's.
They wanted to charge me $1/cut to cut the paper.
yes, one Dollar PER cut!
(for 6 pieces of paper, 2 cuts per peice of paper...that's 12 cuts & a bargain of $12 to CUT PAPER!)
a little out of control...ya think?
So, I went to Staples & used their paper cutter to cut the paper myself.
Where the paper cutter with the big sharp blade was left out in the open for anyone (sane or not) to use.
Well, at least I cut the paper for free!
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Fun Facts....
ok, I dunno how true these "fun facts" are, but I was cleaning out some old emails & thought I would share this info:
Weird Things You Would Never Know!!
* Butterflies taste with their feet.
* A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.
* In 10 minutes, a hurricane releases more energy than all of theworld's nuclear weapons combined.
* On average, 100 people choke to death on ball-point pens every year.
* On average people fear spiders more than they do death.
* Ninety percent of New York City cabbies are recently arrivedimmigrants.
*Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating arealready married.
*Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.
* Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older.
* It's possible to lead a cow upstairs... but not downstairs.
* Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
* It's physically impossible for you to lick your elbow.
*The Main Library at Indiana University sinks over an inch every yearbecause when it was built, engineers failed to take into account theweight of all the books that would occupy the building.
* A snail can sleep for three years.
* No word in the English language rhymes with "MONTH."
* Average life span of a major league baseball: 7 pitches.
* Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and earsnever stop growing. - SCARY!!!
* The electric chair was invented by a dentist.
* All polar bears are left-handed.
* In ancient Egypt, priests plucked EVERY hair from their bodies, including their eyebrows and eyelashes.
* An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
* TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters onlyon one row of the keyboard.
* "Go," is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.
* If Barbie were life-size, her measurements would be 39-23-33. Shewould stand seven feet, two inches tall.
* A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.
* The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.
* Americans on average eat 18 acres of pizza every day.
* Almost everyone who reads this will try to lick their elbow. (You tried to lick your elbow, didn't you?!)
Weird Things You Would Never Know!!
* Butterflies taste with their feet.
* A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.
* In 10 minutes, a hurricane releases more energy than all of theworld's nuclear weapons combined.
* On average, 100 people choke to death on ball-point pens every year.
* On average people fear spiders more than they do death.
* Ninety percent of New York City cabbies are recently arrivedimmigrants.
*Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating arealready married.
*Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.
* Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older.
* It's possible to lead a cow upstairs... but not downstairs.
* Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
* It's physically impossible for you to lick your elbow.
*The Main Library at Indiana University sinks over an inch every yearbecause when it was built, engineers failed to take into account theweight of all the books that would occupy the building.
* A snail can sleep for three years.
* No word in the English language rhymes with "MONTH."
* Average life span of a major league baseball: 7 pitches.
* Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and earsnever stop growing. - SCARY!!!
* The electric chair was invented by a dentist.
* All polar bears are left-handed.
* In ancient Egypt, priests plucked EVERY hair from their bodies, including their eyebrows and eyelashes.
* An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
* TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters onlyon one row of the keyboard.
* "Go," is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.
* If Barbie were life-size, her measurements would be 39-23-33. Shewould stand seven feet, two inches tall.
* A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.
* The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.
* Americans on average eat 18 acres of pizza every day.
* Almost everyone who reads this will try to lick their elbow. (You tried to lick your elbow, didn't you?!)
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
You Can't Trust the Irish!
One day early last fall, Joel & I were leaving church & there was a woman standing outside asking for money & food. Well, neither of us are too comfortable giving out money, so Joel said "hey, there is a deli around the corner, why don't I buy you some food!"
The woman kindly took Joel up on his offer & he bought her a nice healthy chicken breast. We chatted with her for awhile, as she told us how she got to be in her situation (an uncle took the family wealth...or something) & then we were on our way.
A few months had passed & I was on my way to work one morning (across town from where we go to church) & I saw the same woman.
I walked up to her & I said "Hi, I remember you! My boyfriend bought you food one day outside of our church ____."
She said "Yes! That is my church! Are you able to help me out?"
Again, being uncomfortable with giving money out, I said "Well, I have some of my lunch in my bag, you can have some of that!" and the woman took it with a smile.
After taking the food from me she said "Do you possibly know of any place that can help me get a job? I really need a job right now."
I said "I know lots of places & temp agencies, there's actually a really great temp agency right down the street & they can probably help you pretty quickly."
Immediately after I finished telling her where she could go to look for a job, she asked me "Are you possibly Irish?"
I thought to myself, what kind of question is that!?
But replied with a grin full of Irish pride..."Why, yes I am!"
As I said yes, the woman grabbed the food I had given her out of her bag & handed it back to me while saying "I'm sorry, but the Irish always seem to steer me in the wrong direction, I'm going to have to give this back to you."
I said "No, please I am trying to bless you!"
She said "No, thank you, I've just been steered wrong by the Irish."
I said "Ok, well, God Bless!" & walked away.
But as I was starting to walk away she asked me if I had any money.
I said "No, sorry." & walked off...chuckling to myself.
She couldn't take my advice or my food since I was Irish, but she could take my money...interesting!
Of course, I immediately told this story to Joel & we laughed about it...eventually forgetting what had happened.
Until this past Sunday.....
Again, we were leaving church & again the same woman was outside asking for money or food.
As I saw her I pointed her out to Joel telling him "LOOK! It's the lady who doesn't trust the Irish!"
So, as we walked past her & she asked for money Joel said to her "I'm sorry, we can't help you...we're both Irish."
Then I heard the woman say something like "OH, ok."
Now, I couldn't help but laugh at this.
I'm not laughing at the woman being in her position & needing to beg (I pray that I never have to go through that.)
But...to have prejudice against someone because they are Irish? When you are in need of help?
That is just silly.
So, if you do see our friend & would like to help her, please do...I would like to, but I'm Irish.
The woman kindly took Joel up on his offer & he bought her a nice healthy chicken breast. We chatted with her for awhile, as she told us how she got to be in her situation (an uncle took the family wealth...or something) & then we were on our way.
A few months had passed & I was on my way to work one morning (across town from where we go to church) & I saw the same woman.
I walked up to her & I said "Hi, I remember you! My boyfriend bought you food one day outside of our church ____."
She said "Yes! That is my church! Are you able to help me out?"
Again, being uncomfortable with giving money out, I said "Well, I have some of my lunch in my bag, you can have some of that!" and the woman took it with a smile.
After taking the food from me she said "Do you possibly know of any place that can help me get a job? I really need a job right now."
I said "I know lots of places & temp agencies, there's actually a really great temp agency right down the street & they can probably help you pretty quickly."
Immediately after I finished telling her where she could go to look for a job, she asked me "Are you possibly Irish?"
I thought to myself, what kind of question is that!?
But replied with a grin full of Irish pride..."Why, yes I am!"
As I said yes, the woman grabbed the food I had given her out of her bag & handed it back to me while saying "I'm sorry, but the Irish always seem to steer me in the wrong direction, I'm going to have to give this back to you."
I said "No, please I am trying to bless you!"
She said "No, thank you, I've just been steered wrong by the Irish."
I said "Ok, well, God Bless!" & walked away.
But as I was starting to walk away she asked me if I had any money.
I said "No, sorry." & walked off...chuckling to myself.
She couldn't take my advice or my food since I was Irish, but she could take my money...interesting!
Of course, I immediately told this story to Joel & we laughed about it...eventually forgetting what had happened.
Until this past Sunday.....
Again, we were leaving church & again the same woman was outside asking for money or food.
As I saw her I pointed her out to Joel telling him "LOOK! It's the lady who doesn't trust the Irish!"
So, as we walked past her & she asked for money Joel said to her "I'm sorry, we can't help you...we're both Irish."
Then I heard the woman say something like "OH, ok."
Now, I couldn't help but laugh at this.
I'm not laughing at the woman being in her position & needing to beg (I pray that I never have to go through that.)
But...to have prejudice against someone because they are Irish? When you are in need of help?
That is just silly.
So, if you do see our friend & would like to help her, please do...I would like to, but I'm Irish.
Friday, February 02, 2007
4 Months From Today...
4 months from today...
I will dance, eat, dance, celebrate, dance some more...
AND!
I will be the Mrs. to this hottie!
YOWZA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Friday, January 12, 2007
Nice Picture Junior!
So, there is a kid in RI who thought that this picture:
would be an appropriate way to express himself in his senior yearbook.
His school however, rejected the picture because of its "zero tollerance against weapons".
The kid's mom also agreed with Junior that this was his way of expressing what he was interested in at the time & had nothing to do with promoting violence. So, then mamma sued the school cus she was bummed that her little Knight wouldn't be seen in his Senior yearbook.
(all info taken from msnbc.com).
I don't know about you, but I think this case should go to the school cus that poor kid is gonna go to his 10 year reunion & think "Dear Lord! What was I thinking!"
Monday, January 08, 2007
Queasy Stomachs Beware!
TRUE STORY:
I was waiting for the 1 @ Columbus Circle on Saturday morning & I noticed a gentleman doing 'snot rockets' onto the subway tracks. Gross!
BUT!
The t-shirt he wore:
had a picture of a bacteria looking creature with a circle around it & line through it to cross-out the creature. above this, his t-shirt read "Bacteria Busters", as if he was saying "I represent Bacteria Busters".
I don't know about you, but after seeing this display of behavior I don't think this man should be allowed to wear the shirt.
Note: for those of you that don't know what a 'snot rocket' is...I will just say it has to do with blowing your nose with as much force as possible, without the tissue. This display of behavior is usually seen when watching the World Cup.
I was waiting for the 1 @ Columbus Circle on Saturday morning & I noticed a gentleman doing 'snot rockets' onto the subway tracks. Gross!
BUT!
The t-shirt he wore:
had a picture of a bacteria looking creature with a circle around it & line through it to cross-out the creature. above this, his t-shirt read "Bacteria Busters", as if he was saying "I represent Bacteria Busters".
I don't know about you, but after seeing this display of behavior I don't think this man should be allowed to wear the shirt.
Note: for those of you that don't know what a 'snot rocket' is...I will just say it has to do with blowing your nose with as much force as possible, without the tissue. This display of behavior is usually seen when watching the World Cup.
Thursday, December 14, 2006
TIMMY NO!! Stop Spending Quality Time With Grandpa!
On average, I spend about an hour on the subway each day with my many trips to & fro throughout the city. I don't always have a book with me, so I end up reading the various signs that line the overhead advertising in the subway car. I have become quite aware of some of these signs & would like to share some with you...
One of my classic favorites that MANY of you New Yorkers will recognize is the Dr. Z dermatologist ad:
I have always loved the before & after make-over pictures & this one is a classic case.
before:
1) the gal obviously didn't shower before taking the picture.
2) she doesn't have on any make-up
3) she is not smiling
4) she looks like she just rolled outta bed
then! VOILA!
in her 'after' picture she is smiling, has taken a shower, put on some make-up, & obviously got a few hours of sleep the night before.
wow! what a shower, smile, & tube of lipstick can do for a gal!
Another new favorite of mine -- (oh how i wish i had a picture of it...it's WAY cuter than this picture)
One of my classic favorites that MANY of you New Yorkers will recognize is the Dr. Z dermatologist ad:
I have always loved the before & after make-over pictures & this one is a classic case.
before:
1) the gal obviously didn't shower before taking the picture.
2) she doesn't have on any make-up
3) she is not smiling
4) she looks like she just rolled outta bed
then! VOILA!
in her 'after' picture she is smiling, has taken a shower, put on some make-up, & obviously got a few hours of sleep the night before.
wow! what a shower, smile, & tube of lipstick can do for a gal!
Another new favorite of mine -- (oh how i wish i had a picture of it...it's WAY cuter than this picture)
let me describe it to you......
there is a lovely picture of a Grandfather reading a book to the cutest little 4 year old boy you ever saw! curly hair, wearing a sweater vest over a nicely pressed plaid shirt, khaki's, & the biggest smile of adoration for his Gramps.
& Grandpa looks like a happy feller too!
He's holding Jr. in on his lap with his arms around the boy while reading a classic story to the youngster.
ah...a lovely picture of quality time between Grandpa & Jr.
BUT WAIT!
there is a caption underneath it that reads:
"Even moments like this can cause influenza"
then the ad proceeds to tell you about influenza & how it is caused.
wow, I never thought a precious picture of Grandpa & Jr. could be so tainted with influenza! thank you MTA.
Monday, November 20, 2006
OH NO! I misplaced my leg!!!
This ad that is in the subway is quite bizarre...
Tell me something...how do you lose a prosthetic leg?
other odd things shows that people seem to lose on the subway or bus:
-tin cans that are already open
-king cobra's
-something that looks a heck of a lot like a UFO
-boomerang
-dentures
WHAT!?
Thursday, November 09, 2006
The Little Things....
I'm in a bit of a reflective mood today...thinking about my life & where I've been, where I'm going. And I tell ya I wouldn't have it any other way.
I went to 3 colleges, but I got SO SO MUCH out of each one I went to. I cringe to think that if I had not transferred to my last college, that I would not have the friends in my life that I have from that last school...all of them also transfer students.
I have been in NYC & seen my ups & downs in regards to my career & where I've been, but I can see how I've learned something from each & every experience, good & bad.
I have also had relationships/friendships, good & bad. I have learned so much from each of those as well. Especially when being pulled in a direction I'm not necessarily comfortable with. But man oh man, the growth and strength I feel at the end of those 'trials' is quite rewarding.
I believe that God only gives us what we can handle & I'm grateful for the way He's helped me handle my life. Sure, it's not always been easy, but it's always been good.
I love the quote from The Lion, The Witch & The Wardrobe: "Of course he isn't safe... but... he's GOOD... He's the King."
Life has not always been safe or easy, but it's been good.
Look at the little things, step out of your comfort zone, & focus on THE One who is Good...and with that I believe that you will be directed towards life more rewarding then ever dreamed.
I went to 3 colleges, but I got SO SO MUCH out of each one I went to. I cringe to think that if I had not transferred to my last college, that I would not have the friends in my life that I have from that last school...all of them also transfer students.
I have been in NYC & seen my ups & downs in regards to my career & where I've been, but I can see how I've learned something from each & every experience, good & bad.
I have also had relationships/friendships, good & bad. I have learned so much from each of those as well. Especially when being pulled in a direction I'm not necessarily comfortable with. But man oh man, the growth and strength I feel at the end of those 'trials' is quite rewarding.
I believe that God only gives us what we can handle & I'm grateful for the way He's helped me handle my life. Sure, it's not always been easy, but it's always been good.
I love the quote from The Lion, The Witch & The Wardrobe: "Of course he isn't safe... but... he's GOOD... He's the King."
Life has not always been safe or easy, but it's been good.
Look at the little things, step out of your comfort zone, & focus on THE One who is Good...and with that I believe that you will be directed towards life more rewarding then ever dreamed.
Monday, September 25, 2006
Note to Self (part 2)...
Note to self...
Do not unplug the spaceheater at work while it is still on.
This could cause an electric shock.
Yes, I have to use a spaceheater at work...they like to keep the AC on year round.
And no, I did not get electricuted when unplugging it, just almost.
Do not unplug the spaceheater at work while it is still on.
This could cause an electric shock.
Yes, I have to use a spaceheater at work...they like to keep the AC on year round.
And no, I did not get electricuted when unplugging it, just almost.
Thursday, September 21, 2006
Note to self...
Note to self:
--Do NOT order the "special" at the mexican restaurant 'Spinach & Mushroom Burrito' when the E.Coli outbreak is happening.
Yes, it was the special last night at dinner with Joel.
--Do NOT order the "special" at the mexican restaurant 'Spinach & Mushroom Burrito' when the E.Coli outbreak is happening.
Yes, it was the special last night at dinner with Joel.
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