The Gossip.

My office gets People magazine delivered every week. This is fun because it gives me an opportunity to catch up on the latest celebrity gossip & it is a nice brainless activity to split up the day a bit. I think that my favorite thing about these types of magazines, however, is the 'sources'. I've noticed that in almost every article the information cited is from 'a source', 'a relative', 'a friend', 'an onlooker'. So this makes me think...how accurate, really, is this information? Not very. Yet, as interested Americans we dive into these gossip magazines & live vicariously through the stars. Their fancy cars, gifts, party life, & turmoils...all to make us feel better about our own problems. With the help of these publications we can forget that we may be having problems at work, with family, or just life in general. Through these articles we can avoid getting into deeper conversations about ourselves & merely say "did you hear about Jen & Vince?... Brad & Angelina?...did you know that Bennifer2 did get married?" Yes, I am guilty of making comments like this too, but COME ON PEOPLE!!! (you, people...not People) lets try & be genuinely interested in one another & see what is going on in each other's lives. Community, interaction, support, love, meaningful conversation... these are all essential ingredients to help us get through life. It makes us stronger & it's a lot more healthy than talking gossip about someone we don't even know (well, any gossip for that matter is not good either-- whether we do or do not know the person). So, tell me about yourself! What were your parents like? Where did you grow up? What are your dreams, desires, passions, secrets? Tell me some of your hobbies, things you do for fun. And I will tell you mine. I don't want the 'onlooker, source, friend' to tell you that I was "seen eating soul food with friends at Sylvia's in Harlem last night".

Where are the humans?

I am looking for human beings. Has anyone seen them? When I make a phone call I usually get voicemail. When I check-out at the grocery store, buy a Metro Card, or buy a movie ticket...I can do it myself without a cashier. If I lived in the suburbs & had a car...the old school days of someone getting your gas & washing your windows for you are gone (that is, unless you live in Jersey). When I call customer service, I get the automated voice on the other end prompting me through a series of choices. I like people, I like human interaction. I don't always want to have to do things online. I like to speak to the voice on the other end telling me that "it will all be taken care of." Would it be possible to go back to having a human answer the phone rather than Ms. Automated Lady? Or the simple service of the nice cashier at the store. Along with this goes the fact that we need each other. We need the support, ears, hearts, hugs of the community around us. Hugging has even been used as a 'presciption' for some in recovery from surgery or for depression. (I read this online somewhere...don't have a footnote). I am SO SO grateful to have my network of friends & family .... they are my support group & I am happy for that. Maybe I could get one of them to work at the grocery store so I could chat to someone when I check out....! :)

I am a nerd.

Not long ago, in a time not so far away... society told us that you were a 'nerd' if you had a computer & knew how to use it. Now, it's the other way around...you are a 'nerd' if you don't own a computer &/or don't know how to use one. Technology is such a significant part of our lives these days that when I often tell people that I don't own a computer they give me the "WHA?!! HOW?! OH MY GOSH!" response. I suppose I am living in 1982-- I do not own a computer, I do not have cable, I do not have an iPod, I do not have long distance on my phone, I do not have central air, I do not have a dishwasher, I do not have a digital camera, I do not have a fax machine at home, I still pay my bills with a checkbook & stamps...I do have a cell phone & DVD player though! (but my cell only makes calls & does text messaging...I can't surf the web or take pictures from my phone ...& my DVD player...just plays DVD's, nothing fancy) I suppose I am venting all of this to say that is why I have not blogged in quite some time. I was in L.A. the first week of July, then I was at a temp job with no computer access (WHAT!), then I was off work another week with no computer access....& now here I am at my new temp job with computer access....bloggin'. I missed you all & hope to be back here more frequently...if not...I might have to pick up the phone or send you some 'snail mail'. WHAT! WHAT WOULD THAT BE LIKE!?!?? Phone calls & letters in the mail to update you on my life instead of email, text, & blogs!? that's crazy talk.

I just gave Tom Hanks 2 bucks!

I was on a 'retreat' last night & went to Target to run some errands (I LOVE that place! SO refreshing!) :) & they had a special edition 2 disk DVD of Forrest Gump on sale for $9.44 & for that price I just had to get it! Now, as I figure....if actors & directors get residuals for movies when they are bought....Tom Hanks & Robert Zemekis will each probably receive about 20% of my purchase ---about $2. With this $2 Tom Hanks will possibly buy a pack of gum, a can of pop, or give it to his kids for some candy. Mr. Zemekis will maybe go back to IL & buy his mom (who, coincidentally...goes to my Dad's church) a cup 'o joe. So, with my purchase last night .... as I see it... I have contributed to the cavities of Tom Hanks' children & the love that Mrs. Zemekis will shower on her son for that lovely cup of coffee. As the other non-Tom Hanks/Robert Zemekis film saying goes.... "pay it forward" people. My $9.44 has gone a long long way....won't you consider doing the same & purchase the $9.44 DVD of Zoolander to go towards Christine Taylor's chai tea from Ben Stiller?

It's not raining.

A few things that I have come to realize as truths while living in NYC: you will know who the homeless person is on your corner & start to worry about them when they are not there. You know you have a good deal when you pay $850 a month for a 'cozy' 1BR apartment. And people will use their umbrella when it is not raining. Yesterday, it rained. But it only lasted for about an hour... a little humid shower when, yes, we did need our umbrellas. However, after this little pour was over I was walking around & people were STILL using the umbrellas. It's as if people think that if it was raining when they got on the subway... that of COURSE it's still raining when they get off. They don't even check to see if the rain has stopped, they just automatically put up their umbrella. This becomes especially annoying when coming home at rush hour & you can't get around Mr. Suit & his big massive golf umbrella that will fit 4 of his buddies underneath there with him. (even if it was raining, this umbrella....still way to big for NYC streets). Seems that people see the wet ground so they think "clearly I need to use my umbrella!" Just because the ground is wet, you do not need your umbrella. The doorman may have cleaned the sidewalks with the hose...you do not need an umbrella. An air conditioner may be dripping from the apartment above...you do not need an umbrella. Someone may have dropped & spilled their coffee outside of Starbucks...you do not need an umbrella. Please people please....check to see if it's raining before you open up the umbrella, you don't need it when it's not.

A little slice of Heaven.

I am a gal with big feet, size 12m. It is a hard hard task for me to even attempt to get shoes (if I want something super comfortable that will last long & not pay a million dollars). Yes, Payless is a pretty good spot for me, but they are more of a one-season-don't-wear-them-everyday shoe. (& I was really sad when Parade of Shoes went out of business, they carried 12's......arg.) Growing up it was hard for me to find shoes too. As an 11 year old wearing a size 11 shoe, all I wanted was a nice comfortable flat dress shoe & not too many people made '11 year old looking shoes' in a size 11. Many times I have even had to resort to buying men's boots or gym shoes. Usually when shoe shopping....I walk into a store, don't even look at my choices, but first go to the sales person & say "what is the highest size your shoes go?" This size usually... a small little 10. I don't say what I used to ask "do you carry shoes in a 12?" because with that question, I would usually get a lovely response of "UH! NO!!!..." from the rude salesperson & a look that said "...you from Mars or something?" But yesterday...I walked into (for me) what I believe to be a little slice of Heaven. [When in Heaven, we may not have to worry about shoes, but if we do...we will be able to get the size we need, no problem]. I found a store in east mid-town where big shoes are there specialty! They have probably 100 or so choices to choose from & they don't look at me weird when I say "Does that come in a 12?" They say "Sure! let me see what I have!" & if they don't have that specific shoe, they bring me 3 other similar styles...all in a lovely size 12. (They even seemed to have a small little section for the drag queens in honor of the gay pride parade this weekend... he he he). I just found out about this store a few months ago & wow...it is truly amazing. I feel like other women in there are in Heaven also! Everyone was talking to one another saying "Oh my Gosh! look at these shoes! they're so cute!" ....& things like that. So, whoever you are....shoeman that owns the big shoe store....thank you. & Ladies with big feet (or, um....drag queens) check this place out! You'll be in Heaven too.

Looking for my "Friend"

In the office where I temp, a lot of people don't have their own office because they are 'out in the field' on a regular basis. However, when they do come into the main hub here, they are able to reserve a spot & the 'hoteling' guys will put their name on the office doorway so we know who is where. Well, for the past week I have been waiting for Matthew Perry to arrive. His name has been on this office door for the past week, right across from where I sit. Where could he be? Perhaps he is hanging out with Rick Schroder reminiscing about the days when they were just starting out & Matthew was on Silver Spoons with Rick (then Ricky). Or perhaps he's hanging out with Jason Priestly, talking about their days on 90210. Or he may just be in L.A. gloating in the fact that he got paid a million bucks an episode for a show (in my opinion) that got worse as it came to an end. All I know is that he hasn't reported to work here. I have been looking for my 'friend' & he has not arrived. Matthew Perry where are you???!!!!! Wait, what was that? ... oh I just heard someone say it's not my 'friend'...it's another guy who's an accountant or something.... OOPS! Well, he's not been here for the past week either!

Old skills DO come back!

A few years ago when I was temping for some conferences...my job was to act as a 'bouncer' of sorts. A whole bunch of 'suits' were having meetings in various rooms & my job was to keep them on time by knocking on the door when they had 5 minutes left & then knocking again when time was up & then bringing in the new people...and the cycle would continue. During the off time I would sit outside & kill time with the other temps doing the same thing. As time passed I would think...how is this skill going to help me in my future? where will these new found life skills take me? is this really useful or what? Well, today I was able to answer all of those questions. (answers: I will use it again. to a time when I use it again. YES! this is really useful!) I had to do the exact same thing for some interviews at the temp job I'm at now. The only difference... I was not able to sit & chat with other temps around me by killing time & making jokes. I would go back to my cubicle world & let time pass (by er...writing a blog, along with my other very important temp responsibilities). But I am thankful for those times years back when I had to be the 'bouncer' ....otherwise! GEEZ! what would've I done today without all of that skill??? Hang on to what you've learned... you never know when you'll need it again! :)

Words from the wise...

If "with age comes wisdom" .... then I would like to share some 'words from the wise' with you. I went back to my hometown this past weekend & spent some quality time with my grandma (who is 84, almost 85) & friend of my dad's, Dave, who is 80. These comments made me laugh...I hope you do the same. ---- I was at a picnic at my dad's house where we were eating brats. I noticed that Dave was getting his food, but had not got a bun for his brat. I said to him "Dave, would you like me to get a bun for you?" & Dave said "No thank you sweetie, I can't have one because then it'll make my teeth fall out!" Then there was discussion about how good the lunch was with brats, sauerkraut, grilled onions, & baked beans & Dave said "You all better watch out! I may have to pull over a few times on the way home from this one!" When I was with Gram we went for a walk to a pond by her home & in it were a bunch of ducks...but only the mamma & her babies. In response to seeing this Gram said "Those male ducks, they just do their little trick & then leave 'em!" Then Gram was telling me about a friend of hers (who is also in her 80's) & the woman's new boyfriend. Apparently the woman said to Gram "Well Peg, there's not going to be any hanky-panky with him because the man has prostate problems & I don't wanna mess with that!"Older folks have lived a longer life & because of this they find it their 'right' to be able to say what is on their mind. Well I tell ya... I'm glad they do....I found a lot of joy in these statements! ... In addition to spending some quality time with some wonderful, wise, absolutely amazing people.

Can't we all just get along...

I am one of many people who HAS to ride the subway in the morning during rush hour...we all have to do it. Yet there is always one CRAZY lady (& I mean crazy-- malicious, impudent, Jezebel) who thinks she owns the subway & will do everything in her power to manipulate her teeny amount of space on the train car. She will push, she will yell, she will give you a dirty gaze in attempt to scare you, she will even stand wider than she is in order for you to not get into her space. And, yes, she will likely win. Why will she win?...because if she doesn't we have to endure more of her maliciousness & who wants that? We are packed in like sardines, there is nowhere to go & we all have a destination...lady, you are NOT the only one on the train, not by a long shot. The train has problems: it will make you late, it will stop & you will be left stranded, it will suddenly change route without notice, there are too many people & not enough trains....but lady, please just keep your cool & help make the commute a little bit more enjoyable for the rest of us. Since we have been subject to being stuck on the car with you. Thank you.

My first Blog...

This is my first blog (YAY!) ... & I am going to share something with you that I wrote last week & my sister thought was funny.
maybe you will think the same...
Here goes!...

Things I hate to hear in the dressing room.
OK, so I rarely get on any soap boxes or anything.. but i've been at stores lately looking for a dress for my HS reunion & GEEZ people these days!
what is UP?!!
here's a little note on my observations.....

things i hate to hear in the dressing room or in the store.....
(& have heard over the past couple of days)
"all of their sizes are too big, the smallest they have is an 8!"
"the 4 is too big on you"
"God! what size is that jacket! a small! it's WAY too big on you, not flattering at all...makes you look huge"
"there's too much room in that 2, you totally need the 0"
(then after she apparently had the 0 on...)
"the 0 is a bit too big also, you have some room in that too"
"can you get me this in a 2? the 4 is just too big"

i have heard many other things over the years & past few days... but you get the picture. whatever happened to the days when the woman's body was celebrated?
when paintings of women featured a beautiful gal w/ voluptuous curves?
when marilyn monroe's size (a 12) was considered normal?
...but now is percieved as "big" or "plus sized".
i say .... in the words of SirMix-A-Lot..."Shake it! Shake it! Shake that healthy butt!"
sure... i could loose a few pounds... but i'm pretty much happy w/ what i look like!!!
i've got a big butt (or as my family calls it "fluffy duffy") ...& uh...bigger 'chest' size & some guys seem to like it....ahem.... black men mostly (thank you gentleman for appreciating a woman's curves!)....my first boyfriend was even black... his name was Alphabet, we were 4.
[he he he]
so embrace what the Lord gave ya & lets not live up to what 'society' tells us is 'beautiful' or normal.
be proud of who you are! & use it baby!!!!
and now i am climbing off my soap box.
xo